[podcast] Grad students explore confidence and problem-solving to make progress on their career goals [workshop audio]

In a Bold Adulting workshop, a group of UC San Diego Grad Women in Computing grad students explore how to feel confident in the face of struggles, strategize about solving their problems, and discuss the extra obstacles that international students can face. Note - The audio in this episode isn’t perfect, but I hope you’ll still find it worth a listen. (I’ve since improved my ability to record my workshops.) - Masha

NOTE from Masha: As these episode are being released, the world is dealing with the coronavirus crisis. Because all episodes in the season were recorded well in advance, this is not discussed on the show. I hope that you will apply the same themes that we discuss throughout the Bold Adulting podcast to coping and supporting both yourself and others in your community (including the global community) --

• reaching out to people (virtually)

• figuring out what you want to make progress on and making a plan

• being open about what you're going through with the people who you feel comfortable sharing with

• looking for evidence-based resources

• remembering that you are not alone

If you want to connect with me to discuss what you're going through (about this or anything else), please feel free to email me or find me on Facebook (send me a message letting me know you found me through the podcast).

I also strongly suggest connecting with other caring and compassionate people through the Facebook group Distance Resistance (which I don't run but I participate in) which is about staying connected even while we have to stay apart. You can also find a lot of information there about getting help or giving help -- this is a is moment to come together.

</coronavirus talk><regularly scheduled programming>

See the activities covered in Success in Grad School & Beyond workshops and fill out this interest form if you might want to book a workshop. 

• These workshops are great for any group who wants to improve their career confidence and make progress for goals! 

Mentioned in this episode:

• Grad Women in Computing

  • Huge thanks to Ailie Frasier (LinkedIn, Twitter), Trisha Ngoon (LinkedIn, Twitter), and Steven Rick (LinkedIn, Twitter) for bringing Masha in to work with your amazing group! 

• The Getting To Know You activity has participants use the American Sign Language (ASL) signs SAME and DIFFERENT to visually see how they relate to each other.

  • Note: Masha knows a lot of American Sign Language, but isn't fluent yet. She consulted with an expert in Deaf culture/sign language to make sure this is an ok use of a language, so as to avoid appropriating another culture. If you have any thoughts about this or anything else, please feel free to email: masha@boldadulting.com 

• Siering/Wilson Award to Support Undergraduate Research in Microbial Ecology Endowment Fund

  • This foundation was formed in honor of the memory of Patty Siering, one of the most talented and caring professors and mentors I’ve ever had, who passed away in 2017.

• Success in Grad School & Beyond workshops slides 

• Useful quotes:

  • “You're never going to get the proof you want that shows you're doing okay, because other people telling you that doesn't seem convincing to you. You just tell yourself that those people don't really see what's going on. The one thing we forget to be critical of is our own ability to assess ourselves.” -Mizuho Ota (microbiologist)

• “I think everyone should think of science as a profession just like any other, such as carpentry. You don't start with the big saws and power tools and try to build a house. You first make a table using a hand saw and a hammer.” - Bahram Kheradmand (bee behavioral biologist

• Recovering Academic podcast

• Confidence Cat demonstration of Growth Mindset (that link has other Confidence Cat art too)

• Imposter syndrome Halloween costume picture can be found on these slides or on her art page  

• Biz Chix podcast word of year. Masha’s so far have been:

  • 2018: patience

  • 2019: systems

  • 2020: growth

• Brad Voytek on why his curriculum vitae (~resume) lists his failures & rejections 

• BetterLateThanNever.email - a website to normalize the common experience of being behind on responding to emails & other messages.

  • Note #1: This website is in a drafty draft mode. If you have ideas about how to make this website useful for getting back in touch after a while of not responding, please let me know at masha@boldadulting.com 

    1. This is inspired by Reply All podcast’s Email Debt Forgiveness Day

  • Note #2: In the episode, Masha mentions that referencing a website that normalizes the experience of taking a long time to respond to a message means that you can reply with 'no guilt'. To be clear, it's not that a late response/lack of a response is something that never does harm. It is sometimes appropriate to apologize for harm that may have been caused by email etiquette issues. Certainly, if not responding means that another person missed a deadline or that you didn't follow through on a commitment, it is best to take responsibility. However, too often, people feel guilt even if a) it hasn't actually been a long time, b) there was no real negative consequence, and/or c) your circumstances mean that it is understandable that some things would have fallen through the cracks. Even if you feel bad, the most important thing is to get back in touch rather than never reach out again because of your bad feels.   

• Tip: To feel better, play music. If you aren’t in a situation where you can play music, podcaster and Maximum Fun founder Jesse Thorn shares that he “whips out a power jam with his mind” (think of music in your head) 

• Confidence Cat Zine - coloring worksheets for confidence, career success, and problem-solving

• Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Ok: Questions to ask before giving up

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Discuss this episode or learn about hiring Masha for workshop (about making progress on goals that matter to you using antiperfectionism and authenticity) at BoldAdulting.com!

Follow BoldAdulting on Twitter.

Email: masha@boldadulting.com

Masha’s personal social media: Twitter & Instagram

All coaching sessions and interviews are included by permission and with the level of privacy requested by each guest. 

Bold Adulting season 3 episodes were recorded over a year ago. To hear updates or to learn what podcast guests have been up to since then, reach out using the contact information if provided. 

Host: Masha Evpak
Sound Editor: Bart Cameron and Masha Evpak

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Courage the Confidence Cat reminds us to sleep:

[podcast] Transformational Life Coach Shannon Parsons on learning from trauma and raising kids in a supportive environment [cw: suicidal ideation]

[content warning: suicidal ideation] Transformational Life Coach Shannon Parsons shares her recovery from childhood pain and loneliness, how observing another family gave her valuable perspective, and how she raised her children according to her values.

Email Shannon

Mentioned in this episode:

• Improv for Entrepreneurs class, through O.Improv 

• Wonder Women Networking events by Liz Myers

• Humboldt State University 

• On the Spot Improv at the Arcata Theater Lounge

• Humboldt Orientation Program - teaches people to say “I don’t know, but I’ll get back to you”

• Confidence Cat Zine: coloring worksheets for confidence, problem-solving, and career decision-making 

• Idea: Draw your Inner Belief Child

• Tip - to minimize criticizing your ideas, think of them as Throwaway Ideas and let as many out as you can 

  • Try the Hatch notebook for tracking ideas and moving forward with some of them

  • Feeling perfectionist even when you’re brainstorming? Try the word “Brainsprinkles,” to further take the pressure off. 

• Do It Scared (take action even when it’s scary, if that action is important and thoughtful) 

• Growth mindset: don’t feel limited by the skills you currently have

  • Confidence Cat demonstration of Growth Mindset 

• Drafty draft: an even lower stakes version of a rough draft 

  • NEVER judge your drafty draft

  • A drafty draft can be scribbles on a paper, a super rough outline, just starting a blank document and naming it, a mind map, or a brainstorming session

• Tip for authentic networking: Instead of handing out dozens of business cards at a networking event, try: 

  • 1) ask questions about the other person instead of trying to show why you’re impressive 

  • 2) create a podcast or YouTube channel to have great conversations without small talk 

  • 3) try to find what you have in common with different people you meet throughout your week 

• Tip: Instead of assuming you suck, see if there are resources that can address your current roadblocks

• Tip - When you’re faced with something difficult or embarrassing, think “Whatever I go through, I can destigmatize.” 

  • Note: This tip doesn’t fit everyone, but is a helpful mindset for people who like to share about their experiences. Even if that’s not you, this may help when you find yourself in a situation where someone opens up to you   

• I forgot to mention when we were talking about my experience getting cold sores (which is caused by HSV): The Life With Herpes podcast

• Disability After Dark - NSFW (not safe for work)

Possibly useful resources:

• Inside the US: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline,  1-800-273-8255

• International: List of suicide hotlines around the world

Growth mindset drawing:

 ————————————————————————

Discuss this episode or learn about hiring Masha for workshop (about making progress on goals that matter to you using antiperfectionism and authenticity) at BoldAdulting.com!

Follow BoldAdulting on Twitter.

Email: masha@boldadulting.com

Masha’s personal social media: Twitter & Instagram

All coaching sessions and interviews are included by permission and with the level of privacy requested by each guest. 

Bold Adulting season 3 episodes were recorded over a year ago. To hear updates or to learn what podcast guests have been up to since then, reach out using the contact information if provided. 

Host: Masha Evpak
Sound Editor: Bart Cameron and Masha Evpak